ABOUT ME

When my daughter got anorexia, that wasn't the first challenge on my path, before that time I had had my share. Which made me already out of balance when I started the journey as a "mother of". And when I'm out of balance, I quickly go into control and fix mode; I take the world on my shoulders, and there I go!

And honestly, I could do that for a while, I had been doing it alle my life, until I couldn't do it anymore. I got a lot of physical and mental complaints and eventually couldn't work at all for a few months. Emotionally I am resilient, but the price had to be paid somewhere: migraines, a lot of pain in my body, concentration problems, an overloaded feeling, a shorter fuse, withdrawing from social contact, and breast cancer once my daughter recovered.

What I noticed in the mental health care system, is that there was little to no attention for how I was doing. I was mainly used as a "means" in the cognitive behavioral therapy that my daughter received, and as a police officer to make sure she would follow the diet list when she was on leave. And I understand, her life was in danger.

However, I believe that it is too simplistic to look only at the child and the eating disorder. The family system was certainly taken into account, but only in the light of my daughter getting better.

While I know from my background that everything in the system is connected. And that if the mother collapses (or the father, or both), the child is even further from home. The child thrives with parents who are in balance, through the phenomenon of co-regulation. If the mother (and/or the father) is doing well, the child is doing better.

The time and space to find a therapist who understood my situation and to go into therapy was lacking. It felt like yet another thing on my list. A child with an eating disorder felt like a full-time job to me.

Over time, based on my knowledge as a psychologist and yoga teacher, I started to reconnect with myself and taking good care of myself. I started putting my own well-being first. The positive effect of that inspired me to help other "mothers of" take good care of themselves. The surveys I conducted with dozens of mothers showed that I was not the only one who felt burned out, exhausted, scared, sad, angry and powerless. And who felt alone in that.

In the work I do with you as a mother, I naturally bring my personal experiences, but always embedded in my scientific background as a psychologist specialized in chronic stress and trauma. You can read more about my expertise below.

MONIQUE CROOIJ

Psychologist | Senior Trainer | Coach | Yoga Teacher

PSYCHOLOGIST NIP®

I follow an intuitive life path. From childhood I receive insights, 'knowings', that cross my own thinking. I have also often been off my true authentic path however. Life hasn't been easy, there were times that surviving was the highest goal. But still, the most important insights I followed. And I feel deep gratitude for that!

At 16 there was a knowing that I had to study psychology and at 33, I was sitting on the couch at night I knew I had to do an intensive in-depth yoga training, and in the past few years the wisdom of indigenous tribes has entered my life in that way.

All three of these traditions resonate deep within with the same two desires; to know and understand myself deeply and to pass on that lived knowledge and experience in trainings, coaching, therapy and writing. When I follow those desires, I flourish and am blissfully happy. It is an endless path, I never stop learning.

The basis of all the work I do is the functioning of our fantastic nervous system and how we can ensure that it is in such a state that we feel safe and connected. That we live and work inspired and happy. That we blossom the way we are meant to blossom. That state of being is locked in our nervous system, see it as a birthright. There are many entrances to reach that state, even in difficult circumstances. The quest is to get to know our personal keys. I have developed a concrete, holistic and profound method that can help with that.

If your child has an eating disorder, you literally and figuratively need a long breath. Investing in yourself despite the difficult circumstances is no luxury, it's needed and you are worth it.

If you want to know more about my educational background and work experience, check out LinkedIn . I'm always happy to connect!